Protect your Heart: A Deep Dive into Online Romance Scams

A romance scam is an attempt to defraud another person by forming a false emotional connection with them, usually under the guise of a romantic relationship. This type of scam has existed as long as human civilization, but has exploded in number in the digital age. This is the type we will be focusing on in this piece. 

Romance scams can be especially damaging, not only to the victim’s finances, but to their social status and mental health as well. Romance scams can be deeply personal and involve the victim sharing their innermost thoughts and desires, only to be turned on by someone they thought they loved.

As stated above, romance scams have been around for a long time, and are perhaps the oldest form of scam in human history. But as for romance scams that occur in the online space, there are a few popular types. 

• Catfishing: This is when the fraudster pretends to be another person online, real or fictional, and attempts to engage in an online relationship with the victim. Just about all online romance scams involve catfishing to some degree. 
• Celebrity impersonation: This is when the fraudster pretends to be a celebrity or well known figure and catfishes as them under the guise of dating a non-celebrity. They often target fans of said celebrity and use the victim’s admiration as leverage to fraud them further. 

• Blackmail: This is when the fraudster uses harmful information gained about their victim as leverage against them. I.E. do this or I’ll tell your family this. 

• Sugar daddy/mommy: This type of scam involves the fraudster offering to provide financial assistance to the victim with no strings attached. However, in reality the goal is to gain access to the victim’s funds and drain them. 

• Fake Dating sites: This involves the fraudsters setting up a website that mimics a popular dating site. They steal funds through the payment information voluntarily provided by the victims, just as they would any other site. 

These are just some of the more popular forms of online relationship scams, and one method can exist in conjunction to another. Pretty much all relationship scams involve catfishing to some degree, but a catfish scam can also involve blackmail or have been sourced from a fake dating site. 

Probably the best and most effective way to not fall victim to a romance scam is to not engage in online romantic relationships whatsoever. To paraphrase the 1983 film War Games, sometimes the winning move is not to play. 

However, with the internet and online culture becoming more integrated with real life, not having an online relationship at all is getting more difficult, especially with more and more people meeting through apps and dating sites. So if you do want to pursue an online relationship, here are some helpful ways to stay safe and not get scammed. 

• Never respond to an unsolicited message: This is how a lot of romance scams start, often under the guise of a wrong number. If you are not expecting it, then don’t respond. 
• Video chat: It’s easy to disguise yourself online via text, but not as easy over video. Be sure to look closely for signs of AI manipulation. 
• Reverse image search images: Scammers will often steal pictures and videos of other creators online, popular or not, to seem more legit. If you find the same pictures elsewhere, then it’s likely a catfish. 
• Ask for specific pictures: As stated before, scammers will often use pictures they find elsewhere online and use them to catfish as. However, by asking them to take a specific picture, like touching your left ear with your right pinky finger or holding up a 7 of diamonds playing card, then you can verify if the person you’re talking to is really the one in the pictures. 
• Keep an eye out for signs of AI: The recent boom in generative AI usage has been a big help to scammers, as they’re able to generate any image they want. However, by looking closely you can usually tell if an image is AI. Things like inconsistent lighting, odd shapes, or warped text are clear signs of AI. 
• Talk to your loved ones: Love can blind us sometimes to obvious red flags. But if you show your conversations and sent images to a friend or family member, then they can use their unbiased perspective to make you more aware of the red flags.

Scams can be damaging, not only to one’s bank account, but to their self esteem and social status as well. And this is especially true for romance scams. Victims can often feel like they’re foolish or stupid for having fallen for a scheme like this, to the point where they don’t reach out for help or seek relief. 

It’s important to know that anyone can fall victim to a romance scam, and that there are others out there willing to offer help and support. 

Here are some tips on what to do if you find yourself serving as a support network for someone who fell victim to a romance scam. 

• Be empathetic and understanding. 
• Offer relief and support if you can. 
• Don’t be judgmental. 
• Encourage them to seek legal or financial help. 
• Encourage them to report the scam. 
• Help them go through their records.

https://www.fbi.gov/how-we-can-help-you/scams-and-safety/common-frauds-and-scams/romance-scams

https://consumer.ftc.gov/articles/what-know-about-romance-scams

https://www.scamwatch.gov.au/types-of-scams/online-dating-and-romance-scams

https://www.secretservice.gov/investigations/romancescams

Scams of any kind can be detrimental to the victims of them. Not only can they drain your bank account and steal your identity, but they can be a real blow to your self esteem and reputation, romance scams especially. 

It’s important to remain kind to your friends and loved ones who become victims of a romance scam, as well as yourself if it happens to you. Remember that for every one vile fraudster out there, there are 10+ good people willing to help out. 

Stay safe out there!